The Reality of Dying

I never wake up and remember. I wake up in the morning and the first thoughts are what I have to do that day. I don’t know if it’s a form of denial. Or that I really just don’t remember. I’m sure most people think that if they’re going to die from a terminal illness that they would remember it every moment of every day. Honestly, I don’t remember. Until stares me in the face. When I have a  doctor’s appointment, taking my chemotherapy, getting my blood drawn, having a scan or attending my support group, then reality sinks in. The times that truly make it real, is when I have to tell someone, my heart skips a beat. It’s their body language as they look with their eyes that tells me I’m going to die. Going to die sooner than later.

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